I felt like the chosen one at the Good Friday service this evening. My flower came with a ladybug. St. Gregory’s handed out flowers to lay on the alter and as I took mine a ladybug walked onto my hand. It seemed like a miracle. The incense and chanting makes one prone to delusions, but my lady bug hung out with me for the rest of the service, through some more singing and chanting, and some prostrating, till I could bring her safely outside to the garden. Good Friday services are understandably somber occasions, we are commemorating the death of a martyr, and so the sermon was about suffering and how we respond to it. I’d been thinking about suffering a lot, and the ladybug reminded me why we accept suffering- because it comes with joy.
Yesterday I went out with the folks with the Care Through Touch Institute to wash and massage the feet of people at St. Anthony’s and other homeless outreach centers. One of my clients told me he treated his feet so badly that one day they were going to walk out on him. Yep, I responded, one day you’ll wake up and there will just be a note where your feet used to be. Yeah, he said, a footnote. I almost fell on the floor laughing. Everyone expressed intense gratitude, but some people were confused, just like some of my friends are- why do this, why take care of people’s feet, the place they walk on that end up smelly and rough? There are a lot of answers, on Maundy Thursday it’s to honor Jesus’ example of washing his disciples feet to show we are never above taking care of each other, which I think is rad. But today my answer is- because they need to be rubbed. Symbolism aside, these folks have aching feet, many of them walk miles everyday (thanks to the sit/lie law if they stop to rest they’re asked to move on) in shoes that are often ill fitting and socks that need to be washed. They are more likely to have diabetes, a disease that can cause problems of the peripheral circulation, and can lead to amputated toes or feet. Foot care becomes even harder for people to do as they get older and can’t reach their feet as well. Furthermore caring touch can reconnect people to each other and allow us to become invested in our shared well being. This is why I think this organization is so amazing. The people of the Tenderloin know Mary Ann (the directer whom I mentioned in the last post), and many credit her with making a significant impact in their lives.
After the massages we reconvened and talked about our experiences. Mary Ann shared something with us that she had been told by Mother Theresa (yep, she’s such a badass do-gooder that she hung out with Mother Theresa), and that was that she wanted us to allow our clients to “eat us up”. That is, give of ourselves generously, to the point we were pulled out of our comfort zones. This is exactly what every organization, and most people, tell you not to do. She told us to push our boundaries, not to guard too closely against burnout, work when we are tired, spend more than we have, Be Uncomfortable. And have a little faith that we will get enough in return to keep going.
This was something I knew, but had let the self-care ethos make me question. Please don’t get me wrong, having no boundaries will make you a danger to yourself and your coworkers. But opening yourself up to caring deeply about the people you help will turn work into acts of love, and sometimes that sort of connection is more important than the action itself.
Care Through Touch Volunteers
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